The Death of Dean
An unexpected gust of wind pushes and pulls at my hair as I trek down a gravel road. My boots crunch in the rocks echoing through the field surrounding me and darting through the darkness.
“Are we close yet?” The voice of a boy, no older than 14, follows closely behind me.
“It’s just down the road,” I yell back at him, tilting my head to face him.
We met through a few of his friends, about a week ago. Though I dropped out last year I’m still popular with high schoolers. At the end of the road stands a wooden house, I stay there part-time with David and Dean. Dean is an older man who owns the Corll Candy company and David, well, David is just a few years older than me. We used to smoke together and then when I found out how much Dean was paying him, he introduced me to Dean. As we near the house, I can hear muffled music and the voices of both men from inside. I approach the door and open it for the boy behind me. We have a small party consisting of alcohol, music, and various drugs. As we settle into the music the night becomes peaceful with an underlying feeling of uncertainty. Every now and then I’ll look over at Dean who seems to be content just leaning back on his couch with his arms crossed. But every time I glance in his direction he seems to be staring more and more intently at the boy, a hunger swelling in his eyes, and an impatient atmosphere overcomes his once calm demeanor.
After about an hour, with Dean’s expression getting increasingly unnerving David leans into my ear, It’s time to go, he mouths breathily, drawing out each word to emphasize the gravity of the situation. I flash my head towards him, furrowing my eyebrows in confusion.
“What?” I blurt out.
He widens his eyes, partially covered by his long blonde hair, and glares into mine. He brings his finger to his lips, slowly and silently. I can only describe a combination of anger and fear with a look. Dean rotates his head towards David and me keeping his gaze set on the boy, who looks to be high out of his mind, slumped over on the floor.
“It's about time for you both to leave.” He says with a toothy grin.
David doesn’t hesitate to march toward the door without looking back, following Dean’s every word like a prayer. A sick, twisted prayer.
I turn towards David stepping through the door, “Wha-” “GO!” Dean roars.
In the other room, I find David sitting on the floor, zombified.
“What is this? What's going on!” I shout pacing back and forth.
David opens his mouth, pausing before he speaks. “Sit down man. Let him do his thing.”
I stop to look into his glazed eyes “What THING?”
I am interrupted by muffled noises escaping the other room, cries, and pleads, followed by the silencing bellows of Dean.
Birds chirp, a warm breeze flows through the branches of trees bordering my house, and the sun beats down on my face, warming my ruffled hair “Hey Mom, need help bringing in the groceries?” I offer while jogging towards the driveway. “No thank you, hun.” She responds, arms cluttered with brown paper bags, flashing me a passing smile. “Would you mind if I went out for a little while?”
I ask watching her walk toward the door. “Where to?”
“On a walk.” She pauses for a moment before responding
“Be safe, I trust you’ll do the right thing.” She says turning to twist the doorknob and step through the doorway.
I check my pocket for a lighter and start down the road toward the train tracks.
It’s peaceful, somewhere I used to go when I’d skip school. I used to meet David there, skip with him, get high, talk life. Then one day he told me how much money he was making, almost two hundred dollars a week. As I lean to sit off the side of the empty tracks I pull a joint out of my pocket, soon followed by a lighter. I can’t help but think, What was that, What did he do to that boy, I can feel my memory fading and blocking itself, I can’t remember. It feels as if I wasn’t supposed to.
“Oh hey, what's up man?” A familiar voice calls out.
I whip my head to its source and see David walking in my direction. He nears the wall taking a seat next to me unhesitantly asking
“Can I get a hit?”
I pass it to him leaning my head against the wall behind me.
“So what are you doing out here?” He asks blowing out a mouthful of smoke.
“I can ask you the same thing,” I reply.
He immediately goes silent. I turn my head back, keeping my eyes on my feet. We both sit without a word until I break the lingering silence.
“So, um- what was that?” I whisper.
“What was what?” he says unfazed by my remark.
“The thing- what happened to that boy?”
“What do you mean?”
“You know exactly what I mean! What did Dean do to that boy?” David’s eyes narrow and brows furrow turning his expression towards me, looking at me as if I was spewing nonsense.
“Elmer, Wayne, are you feeling… okay?” I sit up, a chill shooting down my spine and a wave of confusion coming over me.
“Yeah, what, why wouldn’t I be?”
“Because you’re saying some…” he briefly pauses. ...Concerning things.”
I readjust my posture, sitting up straight and staring out towards the dark skyline.
“You know,” he continues, “...maybe you had a bad dream, and you’re confused, I don’t think you know what you're saying. Just- go home- get some sleep.”
He slumps down, slouching against the wall, taking another puff.
I stare at him in silence, being left with more confusion and even fewer answers than I arrived with.
“Man, go home to your Mama, you’ll feel better in the morning.”
Years ago, I had a friend, everyone called him by his last name, “Hill”. He was great, kind of dorky yet I loved him nonetheless. Hill ran with some sketchy types but he was a good kid, with a mother who loved him very much and friends who cared deeply. Until about a few years ago, he went missing. Everyone just chalked it up to another runaway case but I didn’t. I couldn’t. I knew deep down in my heart that he did not run away and he had no motive to. I don't know why he’s gone, or where he went. But I do know that he’s gone somewhere, and I feel responsible to myself and to his mother to find him…. Where is Hill?
Sunlight blinds me through the curtains in my room. A sweet and unfamiliar feeling overwhelms me. I had forgotten what I was smoking last night, hell, I can’t remember anything at all. I decide to go through my day as normal, checking up on my mom, and checking up on Hill’s mom.
“I do appreciate your dedication to helping me find my son, it’s very noble of you, your mother raised you right.” Mrs Hill says leaning in to hug me.
“Of course, you know how important he is to me, I promise you, I will find him,” I reply stepping into my car, and preparing to do my rounds. I drive through different areas neighboring my town every day before work, thoroughly searching for any sign of Hill.
After finding no sign of Hill, I drive back into town and go to work.
After work, I promised this guy we would hang out and drive around for a little.
“Hey, what's the deal? Give that back!” I look over fixing my sights on two guys, a couple of years younger than me grabbing each other.
“YO!” I yell causing them both to separate. “Have you seen James Smith?”
They both look at each other, “Yeah he’s over that way.”
They point toward an intersection just off school grounds. “Thanks,” I say walking over.
I can hear them continue to argue as I make eye contact with James. Hey, what up man,” he says smiling. “Wanna get going?” I ask gesturing at my car.
He follows me unhesitantly getting into the passenger side, “Where are we going?”. “I mean we can’t go to my place,” I say hopping into the driver's side and closing the door. “I mean do you know anyone who’d be chill with us smoking up?” I pause to think “Turn the radio on,” I blurt out swiftly turning on the engine and pressing on the gas pedal.
On the ride to Dean’s house, I am overwhelmed by a feeling of impending doom and deja vu.
I don’t exactly know why. Maybe it's the slowly setting sun, or the streetlights coming up over the horizon, but something feels different, something in the air isn't right.
The night continues as usual, it consists of alcohol, drugs, and late-night conversations, until Dean’s expression changes.
“So, Jim, do your parents know where you are?” He snarls taking a sip from a mug with a clear liquid.
James sits up and fixes his sights on Dean, “Oh, nah man.”
Dean turns his head to the floor trying to hide his gaping smile. “I see,” he growls.
The mood suddenly changes, and the air becomes thick and uneasy. I find it difficult to breathe as my heart rate increases. It's all coming back to me. The look in his eye, the screams, I can’t let it happen again.
My eyes dart to James “It’s pretty late, we should head out.”
Dean moves his focus to me, piercing through me with his fiery gaze. “No… stay.”
I grimace as a chill shoots up my spine.
“No, no, I would hate to be a burden,” I say standing up.
Dean looks to David, “Door.”
David stands up and blocks the door, all in one motion.
James looks around in slow movements, eyes bloodshot, and slurring his speech.
My vision begins to give out as I feel myself falling to the floor. All I can hear are muffled voices until I see black.
“GET UP!” “GET UP RIGHT NOW!” I hear screaming as a sharp pain in my side awakens me. I'm being kicked. The voice begins to soften as Dean sees my eyes opening. “I need your help,” he whispers in my ear. “What…” I groan, shifting to my side. “Did you not hear me when I said GET UP,” he roars as he kicks me once more, knocking the air from my lungs. I push myself onto my feet, struggling to balance. “Go into the other room.” I begin to walk with Dean behind me, I hear a click and l pressure on the back of my head. Cold metal.
Walking into the other room I begin to see a figure laid out on the floor. James? I think to myself, my eyes widening. He was unclothed, sprawled out, and tied to a wooden board. Tear marks stained his pale face, and bruises trailed down his stomach. “Oh my god,” I mutter.
He presses the metal harder into my skull, “I need you to take this, and finish the job.”
“Finish the job…?” I whisper turning my head to the side. He hands me a gun, still holding one to my head. “It would be wise of you to do what I say.”
What’s going on I think to myself. I'm stuck between a wall and a hard place, it's kill or be killed.
I’m empty. I had become the person I hated. And in that, I should hate myself. Dean did this.
“Good morning sleepy head, you've been out for almost half the day.” I open my eyes to see my mom hovering above me, I’m in my bed at home.
The last thing I remember is being in the house, with Dean, and James. Oh my god… James. I jump out of bed now knowing what needs to be done. “Mom, I’m sorry I can’t hang around to say hi, but I must go!” I yell as I run down the stairs, grabbing my jacket off the dining room table, and sliding on some flip-flops.
I open the door and begin to race out to my car. Where would Dave be right now? I ask myself slamming the door.
“DAVID,” I call out, slowing my car.
He's sitting on the curb out by the Corll Candy Company, Deans's business.
The better of a view I get of his face the more I begin to notice his eyes wide with terror, and his jaw gaping with a look of numbness spread across the lower half of his face.
I pull the car over and run toward him. “DAVID, WE HAVE TO STOP HIM!” He turns to face me staring blankly, “I know.” His Gaze meets mine, eyes watering and tears begin to stream, “I remember now, I remember everything… He’s been poisoning us.” “What?” “He’s been dosing us with some kind of drug, I overheard him talking about it and when I went into the next room, It was all there, right in front of my face.” I take a step back to think for a moment, this would explain so much, the patches in my memory, and David’s demeanor. I begin to take a seat beside him “What else did you hear.” “Something about Mk… whatever, government experimentation, mind control…” “Did you say mind control? You can’t be serious.” David stares into my eyes with a look of sincerity, “Why would I lie? Am I in the position to make anything up when there are lives at stake? Don’t trust Dean and don’t trust anything he puts in front of you, or who knows, maybe you’re next.” I pause for a minute to take it all in, “David… What do we do?”
It’s ten pm, I go to park my car by the side of Dean’s house. We know what needs to be done but we don’t know if we have the gull to do it. Before we go in, I grab a black duffle bag from my trunk, and David grabs a separate bag from the backseat. “Back door,” I whisper to David. He nods his head in agreement and we begin walking into the backyard. We unlock it and I gesture to him to go into the backdoor.
A light flashes on illuminating the backyard.
“I can’t believe you’d try that, after all that’s happened. I never would’ve deemed you two as so unloyal.”
I open my eyes to find my hands bound above my head and a sharp pain in my back.
I look around to get a grasp of where I am. It’s a brown room with windows boarded, and a candle in the corner illuminates the rest of the space. I see David next to me unconscious, Shackles restricting my movement, and a breathy voice emits from the darkness, “I hate to have to do this, but I need to.” I dart my eyes around looking for the man behind the voice, “Do what?...” He pulls a gun from his back pocket aiming it directly at me.
“Dean, dean… Don’t do this, I’ll be loyal to you and only you, I promise,” I continue to plead for my life stumbling upon my words. “I-I I swear, I'll do whatever you want-”
“Whatever I want?” He smiles polishing the weapon with his shirt, “Take this, and end him,” He motions to David who is half asleep in the corner. “I can’t…” “Such a shame, I guess I have no choice,” He cocks the gun and begins to raise it “OKAY FINE! I’ll do it, I’ll do whatever you need me to.” He lowers it and sighs, “Good choice.” I slowly stand up against the wall with my hands in the air, and step toward Dean to take it from his brittle hands. My limbs begin to tremble as I take a step forward raising It to David, his eyes opening now understanding what is about to occur. I can see the fear and hurt welling in his eyes, but it is no greater than the feeling of joy radiating off of Dean. I take a deep breath before raising my hands ever so slightly and in one motion I turn around and fire off at Dean. He can’t hurt us anymore.
“Are we close yet?” The voice of a boy, no older than 14, follows closely behind me.
“It’s just down the road,” I yell back at him, tilting my head to face him.
We met through a few of his friends, about a week ago. Though I dropped out last year I’m still popular with high schoolers. At the end of the road stands a wooden house, I stay there part-time with David and Dean. Dean is an older man who owns the Corll Candy company and David, well, David is just a few years older than me. We used to smoke together and then when I found out how much Dean was paying him, he introduced me to Dean. As we near the house, I can hear muffled music and the voices of both men from inside. I approach the door and open it for the boy behind me. We have a small party consisting of alcohol, music, and various drugs. As we settle into the music the night becomes peaceful with an underlying feeling of uncertainty. Every now and then I’ll look over at Dean who seems to be content just leaning back on his couch with his arms crossed. But every time I glance in his direction he seems to be staring more and more intently at the boy, a hunger swelling in his eyes, and an impatient atmosphere overcomes his once calm demeanor.
After about an hour, with Dean’s expression getting increasingly unnerving David leans into my ear, It’s time to go, he mouths breathily, drawing out each word to emphasize the gravity of the situation. I flash my head towards him, furrowing my eyebrows in confusion.
“What?” I blurt out.
He widens his eyes, partially covered by his long blonde hair, and glares into mine. He brings his finger to his lips, slowly and silently. I can only describe a combination of anger and fear with a look. Dean rotates his head towards David and me keeping his gaze set on the boy, who looks to be high out of his mind, slumped over on the floor.
“It's about time for you both to leave.” He says with a toothy grin.
David doesn’t hesitate to march toward the door without looking back, following Dean’s every word like a prayer. A sick, twisted prayer.
I turn towards David stepping through the door, “Wha-” “GO!” Dean roars.
In the other room, I find David sitting on the floor, zombified.
“What is this? What's going on!” I shout pacing back and forth.
David opens his mouth, pausing before he speaks. “Sit down man. Let him do his thing.”
I stop to look into his glazed eyes “What THING?”
I am interrupted by muffled noises escaping the other room, cries, and pleads, followed by the silencing bellows of Dean.
Birds chirp, a warm breeze flows through the branches of trees bordering my house, and the sun beats down on my face, warming my ruffled hair “Hey Mom, need help bringing in the groceries?” I offer while jogging towards the driveway. “No thank you, hun.” She responds, arms cluttered with brown paper bags, flashing me a passing smile. “Would you mind if I went out for a little while?”
I ask watching her walk toward the door. “Where to?”
“On a walk.” She pauses for a moment before responding
“Be safe, I trust you’ll do the right thing.” She says turning to twist the doorknob and step through the doorway.
I check my pocket for a lighter and start down the road toward the train tracks.
It’s peaceful, somewhere I used to go when I’d skip school. I used to meet David there, skip with him, get high, talk life. Then one day he told me how much money he was making, almost two hundred dollars a week. As I lean to sit off the side of the empty tracks I pull a joint out of my pocket, soon followed by a lighter. I can’t help but think, What was that, What did he do to that boy, I can feel my memory fading and blocking itself, I can’t remember. It feels as if I wasn’t supposed to.
“Oh hey, what's up man?” A familiar voice calls out.
I whip my head to its source and see David walking in my direction. He nears the wall taking a seat next to me unhesitantly asking
“Can I get a hit?”
I pass it to him leaning my head against the wall behind me.
“So what are you doing out here?” He asks blowing out a mouthful of smoke.
“I can ask you the same thing,” I reply.
He immediately goes silent. I turn my head back, keeping my eyes on my feet. We both sit without a word until I break the lingering silence.
“So, um- what was that?” I whisper.
“What was what?” he says unfazed by my remark.
“The thing- what happened to that boy?”
“What do you mean?”
“You know exactly what I mean! What did Dean do to that boy?” David’s eyes narrow and brows furrow turning his expression towards me, looking at me as if I was spewing nonsense.
“Elmer, Wayne, are you feeling… okay?” I sit up, a chill shooting down my spine and a wave of confusion coming over me.
“Yeah, what, why wouldn’t I be?”
“Because you’re saying some…” he briefly pauses. ...Concerning things.”
I readjust my posture, sitting up straight and staring out towards the dark skyline.
“You know,” he continues, “...maybe you had a bad dream, and you’re confused, I don’t think you know what you're saying. Just- go home- get some sleep.”
He slumps down, slouching against the wall, taking another puff.
I stare at him in silence, being left with more confusion and even fewer answers than I arrived with.
“Man, go home to your Mama, you’ll feel better in the morning.”
Years ago, I had a friend, everyone called him by his last name, “Hill”. He was great, kind of dorky yet I loved him nonetheless. Hill ran with some sketchy types but he was a good kid, with a mother who loved him very much and friends who cared deeply. Until about a few years ago, he went missing. Everyone just chalked it up to another runaway case but I didn’t. I couldn’t. I knew deep down in my heart that he did not run away and he had no motive to. I don't know why he’s gone, or where he went. But I do know that he’s gone somewhere, and I feel responsible to myself and to his mother to find him…. Where is Hill?
Sunlight blinds me through the curtains in my room. A sweet and unfamiliar feeling overwhelms me. I had forgotten what I was smoking last night, hell, I can’t remember anything at all. I decide to go through my day as normal, checking up on my mom, and checking up on Hill’s mom.
“I do appreciate your dedication to helping me find my son, it’s very noble of you, your mother raised you right.” Mrs Hill says leaning in to hug me.
“Of course, you know how important he is to me, I promise you, I will find him,” I reply stepping into my car, and preparing to do my rounds. I drive through different areas neighboring my town every day before work, thoroughly searching for any sign of Hill.
After finding no sign of Hill, I drive back into town and go to work.
After work, I promised this guy we would hang out and drive around for a little.
“Hey, what's the deal? Give that back!” I look over fixing my sights on two guys, a couple of years younger than me grabbing each other.
“YO!” I yell causing them both to separate. “Have you seen James Smith?”
They both look at each other, “Yeah he’s over that way.”
They point toward an intersection just off school grounds. “Thanks,” I say walking over.
I can hear them continue to argue as I make eye contact with James. Hey, what up man,” he says smiling. “Wanna get going?” I ask gesturing at my car.
He follows me unhesitantly getting into the passenger side, “Where are we going?”. “I mean we can’t go to my place,” I say hopping into the driver's side and closing the door. “I mean do you know anyone who’d be chill with us smoking up?” I pause to think “Turn the radio on,” I blurt out swiftly turning on the engine and pressing on the gas pedal.
On the ride to Dean’s house, I am overwhelmed by a feeling of impending doom and deja vu.
I don’t exactly know why. Maybe it's the slowly setting sun, or the streetlights coming up over the horizon, but something feels different, something in the air isn't right.
The night continues as usual, it consists of alcohol, drugs, and late-night conversations, until Dean’s expression changes.
“So, Jim, do your parents know where you are?” He snarls taking a sip from a mug with a clear liquid.
James sits up and fixes his sights on Dean, “Oh, nah man.”
Dean turns his head to the floor trying to hide his gaping smile. “I see,” he growls.
The mood suddenly changes, and the air becomes thick and uneasy. I find it difficult to breathe as my heart rate increases. It's all coming back to me. The look in his eye, the screams, I can’t let it happen again.
My eyes dart to James “It’s pretty late, we should head out.”
Dean moves his focus to me, piercing through me with his fiery gaze. “No… stay.”
I grimace as a chill shoots up my spine.
“No, no, I would hate to be a burden,” I say standing up.
Dean looks to David, “Door.”
David stands up and blocks the door, all in one motion.
James looks around in slow movements, eyes bloodshot, and slurring his speech.
My vision begins to give out as I feel myself falling to the floor. All I can hear are muffled voices until I see black.
“GET UP!” “GET UP RIGHT NOW!” I hear screaming as a sharp pain in my side awakens me. I'm being kicked. The voice begins to soften as Dean sees my eyes opening. “I need your help,” he whispers in my ear. “What…” I groan, shifting to my side. “Did you not hear me when I said GET UP,” he roars as he kicks me once more, knocking the air from my lungs. I push myself onto my feet, struggling to balance. “Go into the other room.” I begin to walk with Dean behind me, I hear a click and l pressure on the back of my head. Cold metal.
Walking into the other room I begin to see a figure laid out on the floor. James? I think to myself, my eyes widening. He was unclothed, sprawled out, and tied to a wooden board. Tear marks stained his pale face, and bruises trailed down his stomach. “Oh my god,” I mutter.
He presses the metal harder into my skull, “I need you to take this, and finish the job.”
“Finish the job…?” I whisper turning my head to the side. He hands me a gun, still holding one to my head. “It would be wise of you to do what I say.”
What’s going on I think to myself. I'm stuck between a wall and a hard place, it's kill or be killed.
I’m empty. I had become the person I hated. And in that, I should hate myself. Dean did this.
“Good morning sleepy head, you've been out for almost half the day.” I open my eyes to see my mom hovering above me, I’m in my bed at home.
The last thing I remember is being in the house, with Dean, and James. Oh my god… James. I jump out of bed now knowing what needs to be done. “Mom, I’m sorry I can’t hang around to say hi, but I must go!” I yell as I run down the stairs, grabbing my jacket off the dining room table, and sliding on some flip-flops.
I open the door and begin to race out to my car. Where would Dave be right now? I ask myself slamming the door.
“DAVID,” I call out, slowing my car.
He's sitting on the curb out by the Corll Candy Company, Deans's business.
The better of a view I get of his face the more I begin to notice his eyes wide with terror, and his jaw gaping with a look of numbness spread across the lower half of his face.
I pull the car over and run toward him. “DAVID, WE HAVE TO STOP HIM!” He turns to face me staring blankly, “I know.” His Gaze meets mine, eyes watering and tears begin to stream, “I remember now, I remember everything… He’s been poisoning us.” “What?” “He’s been dosing us with some kind of drug, I overheard him talking about it and when I went into the next room, It was all there, right in front of my face.” I take a step back to think for a moment, this would explain so much, the patches in my memory, and David’s demeanor. I begin to take a seat beside him “What else did you hear.” “Something about Mk… whatever, government experimentation, mind control…” “Did you say mind control? You can’t be serious.” David stares into my eyes with a look of sincerity, “Why would I lie? Am I in the position to make anything up when there are lives at stake? Don’t trust Dean and don’t trust anything he puts in front of you, or who knows, maybe you’re next.” I pause for a minute to take it all in, “David… What do we do?”
It’s ten pm, I go to park my car by the side of Dean’s house. We know what needs to be done but we don’t know if we have the gull to do it. Before we go in, I grab a black duffle bag from my trunk, and David grabs a separate bag from the backseat. “Back door,” I whisper to David. He nods his head in agreement and we begin walking into the backyard. We unlock it and I gesture to him to go into the backdoor.
A light flashes on illuminating the backyard.
“I can’t believe you’d try that, after all that’s happened. I never would’ve deemed you two as so unloyal.”
I open my eyes to find my hands bound above my head and a sharp pain in my back.
I look around to get a grasp of where I am. It’s a brown room with windows boarded, and a candle in the corner illuminates the rest of the space. I see David next to me unconscious, Shackles restricting my movement, and a breathy voice emits from the darkness, “I hate to have to do this, but I need to.” I dart my eyes around looking for the man behind the voice, “Do what?...” He pulls a gun from his back pocket aiming it directly at me.
“Dean, dean… Don’t do this, I’ll be loyal to you and only you, I promise,” I continue to plead for my life stumbling upon my words. “I-I I swear, I'll do whatever you want-”
“Whatever I want?” He smiles polishing the weapon with his shirt, “Take this, and end him,” He motions to David who is half asleep in the corner. “I can’t…” “Such a shame, I guess I have no choice,” He cocks the gun and begins to raise it “OKAY FINE! I’ll do it, I’ll do whatever you need me to.” He lowers it and sighs, “Good choice.” I slowly stand up against the wall with my hands in the air, and step toward Dean to take it from his brittle hands. My limbs begin to tremble as I take a step forward raising It to David, his eyes opening now understanding what is about to occur. I can see the fear and hurt welling in his eyes, but it is no greater than the feeling of joy radiating off of Dean. I take a deep breath before raising my hands ever so slightly and in one motion I turn around and fire off at Dean. He can’t hurt us anymore.